![]() on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.Įdit: rip so someone messaged me asking what I meant by “anatomy exclusive to the male body” and I was like ? bc I meant i like d**k, and i explained that i didn't like using cuss words on my blog bc my account got shut down/deleted/reported last year and was completely gone for two days while I emailed my butt off to get it back. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). ![]() on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. however that’s not a very helpful thought for me specifically lolĪnyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i guess i have to wonder how many of them actually have gay thoughts OCD and how many of them genuinely are victims of comphet bc i do bet it’s a non-zero number. im not a fucking lesbian holy shit! the absolute irrationality!!! i did also do some googling + found a number of bisexual women in a similar thought spiral which was quite interesting - the same kind of shit - terrified of being a victim of comphet, terrified of their relationship not being ‘valid’, terrified of not being ‘true to themselves’. ben asked for a list of thoughts but going into detail about that specifically just felt Not Doable so ill probably do my usual thing of writing him an email about it lol. ![]() and just like being totally batshit about it. it’s what it is) and i spent a while last night doing absolutely stupid shit in response - like reading all these articles about comphet, measuring my index and ring finger WITH A RULER bc of that study that suggested lesbians are more likely to have a longer ring finger than index finger. Also as ive mentioned i feel very battered by the relationship OCD + the gay thoughts OCD (lol irl at that phrase but like.
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